Saturday, January 28, 2012
YEAY ME!!!
oh wow!
i actually forgot yesterday was your wedding day! i was dreading this day and
i thought my heart would bleed again. but this day passed by just like any
ordinary day. hurray for me! seeing your wedding pictures didn’t hurt as much as
i had expected it to. heck! it didn’t hurt at all!! finally, i have fully
recovered and moved on. thank God!! congrats by the way! im happy for you,
seriously, i am! i just really hope you’ve changed. those 7 years trying to move
on were a not total waste, i learned. experiences gained and lessons to
keep.
NCR's Christmas Party - 12042011
NCR’s Christmas Part last 04122011 at the Oakridge Pavillon. Surprised? yeah, me too! didn’t think i could pull it off, wearing the dress and the 4inch heels i mean. LOL. the things my friends make me do. it’s really hard wearing em shoes. i salute women who wear them every single freakin day. my friends had a field day when they saw the pix! yeah, pat on the back girl. well done! now i’d like to go back to being a douche!!!!!
p.s
i saw a really cute guy at the party. LOL! now a little crush at the office wouldnt hurt anybody. at least i have a reason to wake up every 4am! hahaha..
Bohol (posted 2 months ago)
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| i was finally able to go to Bohol. yey me! |
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| I couldnt help but post Enzo’s pix. he’s just too damn adorable. some random baby we met at Loboc River cruise. made me miss my cousins. but hey, i had fun, but i was broke by the time i got back to Cebu! hahahhaha.. |
Royce Chocolates (posted 2 months ago)
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| Indulging on Royce chocolates!! For its price, it really is heavenly… |
Annoying!!!! (posted 3 months ago)
You really annoy me these past couple of days!! I know what the fuck im doing! You dont have to tell me. You’re no better than us!!! You really come off as someone higher than all of us!! And why??? Just because you’re good in one aspect doesnt make you a God!!! Shut the hell up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PESTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HILAS RA KAYKA!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAWA!!!!!!!!!!!! PAGHILOM B!!!!!!!!!!!! CGEG YAWYAW WAI GANAHAN MAMINAW NIMO!!!!! GPA-PAPEL KA RAMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEELERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAYPAG MO BU-TO KAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**and still annoying up to now!
October 2011
was able to go home 2nd week of October. Met up with my beloved SPEDs. ate pizza and pasta instead of our “traditional” KFC Bucket Meal - i had a bad case of asthma. we played one hell card game of In-Between. haha. how can we forget the rules? we were making it up as we played, but had to call a friend to get things straight. that was fun!!! i miss home…….
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| wanna bet? |
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| SPEDS in action |
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| a get together can't be complete without food |
a shared story (posted 4 months ago)
“You need to forgive him. And more than anything, you need to forgive yourself. It is not your fault that you were abused. It is not your fault that you were treated as damaged goods. And there is nothing you can change to make a man love you even more or even less. It is not the way you dress, the way you wear your makeup, the way you speak. You do not need a boob job to get the man you want. Because the right man will love you to the core of your very being. He will peel every layer ever so gently until you are ready to reveal the real you hidden in that mask of shame, insecurity and abandonment. He will love you unconditionally.”
sanasanz.com/2011/09/28/epilogue-not-a-love-story/
i suddenly felt lonely today.
maybe it’s just the weather.
typhoon pedring is here.
makes me wanna hug someone.
and im really homesick.
getting stressed out from work already.
i feel like my head is going to explode anytime soon.
hoping it would be sunny this weekend.
have plans to go to Bantayan.
please come out Mr. Sunshine!
i need to relax.
i need fresh air.
or maybe i need a drink? ggrrr…
emotional trauma (posted 4 months ago)
i had a dream about you last night. you we’re in our training room and i kept on telling you to go away, but you just would not. i woke up 3 times but my dream just continued where it left of. yes, I KEEP TELLING MYSELF TO LET YOU GO — GO AWAY, BUT I CAN’T!!! i know it’s not your fault. YOU WERE JUST BEING YOU. my mind wanders to you all the time nowadays. maybe because of the fact that i’m now working for the same company you used to work for? or that i’m now walking in the very same office that you did? or riding the same elevators you used to? i could not help but think that one of my officemates may be your friend? gaka praning ko! i should not feel this way. this is really pathetic! but i can’t stop! you already moved away - to another country even! you already moved on. why can’t i? i keep telling convincing myself that i’m over you. i really have. or so i thought. but i should move on. i know you really did not love me. why am i still thinking of you? hell, even in my dreams! NO, I WONT LET THIS HAPPEN. i should choose to forget my feelings for you. letting go is remembering you without fear. the fear of remembering the feelings that i used to have. have i really moved on? or is it just because i can’t help associate you with the work i have right now? but it does not have to be that way. i should not be bothered by that mere fact. i’m hoping to sleep tonight without seeing you. this is just too hard. it’s enough already. it’s been way too long.
subconscious (posted Sept 9, 2012)
yesterday (sept9), I kept thinking the whole day that I know someone who’s having a birthday. went to sleep last night and had this dream about a “grade school” crush of mine - mind you, he’s not in the same grade school as me so don’t get any ideas, hehe. and i woke up thinking it was him. i checked his fb and found out its not! haha.. but it will be a few days from now. WEIRD!! what’s funny was that in my dream, he became my boyfriend. haha! i was actually happy. i longed for that feeling of being wanted, more so being LOVED. holding hands, kissing (smack raman to sako damgo,) someone gets jealous when i was just talking with another guy. i have not had a boyfriend for almost 4 years now. that’s the longest since is started having one. i don’t know, maybe i was just too hung up over my ex for the last 7 years, i already moved on btw. maybe i was too busy with work and the nature of work i have denies me of having a normal life. most of my officemates are either married, jerks, or gay. is it really my subconscious telling me that i miss having someone special? i miss having a boyfriend, yes. maybe no guy wants to be with me because i got “fat”, my ex told me that, yeah the same guy which took me 7 years to recover, he doesn’t want to be with me because i gained weight. what an asshole. he doesn’t even know he’s the freakin reason why i was binge eating and getting drunk every chance i get. he was also too coward to tell me he did not love me anymore - if he ever did at one point or another and i highly doubt it. that guy scarred me for life! i know it should not affect me anymore but it’s inevitable, i guess. but i choose to be happy now and im over him. i just don’t like my subconscious or dreams telling me otherwise! LOL
bad news and very bad news! (posted 4 months ago)
let’s start with the bad news. it all started last thursday night when we saw the boyfriend - lets call him B, of a very close friend of mine - lets call her A, who was out with another girl. this guy has been known to “date” other girls in the first part of their relationship. we have been telling A to break up with him but she just would not listen. this is all too familiar, who am i to blame her anyway. i’ve been in her exact same position some years ago but that’s another story.
as they say “love is blind”. i say FUCK THAT SHIT! A has been helping out B and his family financially recently and by that i mean paying their bills and this is how he repays her? and they’re not even married! i mean, im friends also with B but damn! he has got to be one of the biggest assholes i have ever known!! we were in a dilemma whether we’re going to tell A or not or how are we even gonna start telling her. so today i got a text from A asking if it was true that we saw B with another girl. how she found out, you ask? B told her so! at least he had the decency to tell her. the nerve! he told her that he’s confused and that he doesn’t know what to do anymore. so A called him up but B would not answer BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING CHESS!! come on!! WHAT A LAME EXCUSE!!! i just want to rip his heart and brain out! what a pig! and what’s worse is that A doesn’t want to break up with him. she’s waiting for B to decide what they would do with their relationship! FML!!! anyway, A and i talked and i gave her my 2 cents about their situation and i just hope she would do the right thing - whatever it is!
Ok, so here’s the very bad news. my grandpa, cousin of my maternal grandfather, was diagnosed with tumor in his left eye (or parts somewhere around it) a few months back. they were here in cebu for radiation and stuff. i thought everything must be ok since after a month, they went home to cdo. but today when my mom and i were texting, she told me that Papa Yong’s (that’s what i call him) tumor had already spread to his brain. he’s only given 4-6 months to live since July. he can no longer see from both of his eyes. i was in a state of shock. my tita recently finished her cycle of chemotherapy for her breast cancer, and now this? that’s not all. my grandma, the sister of my maternal grandfather - yeah, same one, has ovarian cancer too. so imagine my shock as i was comprehending this.
this is what im scared of. all of these are happening to my family and im not even there to support them! this just sucks! big time!
and now im lifting them up to Lord. leaving it all to Him. it’s all in His plans. what i can do is just pray. and hope that whatever His plans are, we can all accept it.
5 months ago part 2...
i just read a post from a friend’s blog a few mins ago. im not sure if he knows that i know the URL of his TUMBLR page.. hehe.. but it somehow made me smile today, knowing that i have made this friend happy at that moment; which was really just an ordinary day doing somewhat an ordinary thing to do and i forgot about it already up until now - that i was able to brighten up his fucked up day with a simple gesture! it’s amazing how a “bear hug” can do for a person. i’m really touched that i could have that kind of impact on somebody, especially a very dear friend!
dodong maykel, i know we always BULLY you. it’s our way of showing how much we love you, really! bwahahah.. it is also one way of “toughening” you up since you’re the bunso in the group. but you know you can always count on me, on us! labyu tih! ^_____^
5 months ago...
Hey Tumblr! BLOGSPOT! This is my first post, hence the picture. I have not been blogging for almost 5 years now. But since I just quit my job and I’m starting a new one soon, why not start a blog too. Well, to be honest, when I’m really bored at the office, or simply do “petix”, I read blogs. It got me interested to blog again.
So here is my first post. Saying goodbye to my first real job after 3 years and 10 months in a call center. I recently resigned - i have been planning to resign some 3 years and 10 months ago. ;o) It has been the BEST and the WORST experience ever.
Why WORST? I’m so far away from my family! Missing birthdays, Christmas, New Year’s, Fiestas, Graduations, etc. IT SUCKED BIG TIME! One thing I dreaded the most was eating alone, and I’ve been doing it almost everyday. Homesickness made me cry a lot of times already. I left my family and my friends back home. and as for the work place? Oh I wont go into details but as much as I would like to say, POLITICS IS EVERYWHERE!
BEST - because I have met friends that I will treasure for a lifetime. From teammates to Supervisors. People come and go in a BPO Industry, it’s just a matter of who goes out first. This place is also where I learned the value of Independence, Discipline and Responsibility. Living alone after 22 years of being a Mama’s girl was NEVER easy! It’s hard to explain why I decided to move out of my comfort zone that I call HOME. But it was for a very good reason at that time, well for me at least. I had a lot of regrets and lost myself a while back just because someone promised me the world but gave me hell instead. Definitely there were lessons learned. As they say, there’s no way but UP! So I learned to love myself more and moved on.
And here I am, starting to blog again. This will serve as an online diary for rants and raves. From places to food. I’m only keeping this to myself - but if you’re reading this, consider yourself lucky! hahaha! ciao!
welcome!
hey! i'm transferring my web diary to blogspot. i don't know why except that i don't have much options for pictures and texts as much as i would like to! hehe. so expect me to have all, yes, all less than 15 potst from tumblr transferred to here. so..... here goes nothing!
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